


Dave the Newborn Vampire

by krazieLeylines



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Blood Drinking, Dave is a vampire, Demons, F/M, Homestuck Polyswap 2018, Just graphic descriptions of nude people, Karkat and Jade are werewolves, M/M, Multi, No Sex, Nudity, Polyamory, Soulmates, Supernatural Elements, Vampires, Werewolves, nonconsensual vampirism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 04:25:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15283602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazieLeylines/pseuds/krazieLeylines
Summary: The challenge assignment: "Jade and Karkat are werewolves and packmates. Dave is a newly-turned vampire on the run from his sire, and it's a dangerous world out here for a stray vampire, especially one that isn't sure what he's doing."





	Dave the Newborn Vampire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [circumlocute](https://archiveofourown.org/users/circumlocute/gifts).



> For [circumlocute](https://archiveofourown.org/users/circumlocute)
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this!! The hardest part was finding a stopping point. This is the type of prompt that makes me want to write a multi-chapter fic, so I tried hard to restrain myself.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!!

The night was so loud. Dave had always associated the night with silence, but it had never been silent at all. No, the forest was full of life, even at this late hour. The scuttle of mice in the undergrowth, the fluttering of bat wings, the rustle of wind swirling through the leaves on the trees… Dave’s new ears could pick up even the smallest of noises. It was messing with his sense of distance. The buzzing of mosquitos kept convincing him they were inside his ears, but whenever he glanced around, nothing was there. In fact, all of the bugs and animals in the forest appeared to be avoiding him.

 _No surprise there,_ Dave thought to himself as he ripped through the branches with manic energy. Dave was at the top of the food chain now, presumably. 

Less than five hours ago, Dave had been a normal human; a college dropout, perhaps, who had twenty-one odd part-time jobs and no concrete goals for his future, but a normal human nonetheless. Now, he was a vampire. A creature of the night. A monster.

Maybe. Dave was fairly certain that’s what he was. He had never read or seen the _Twilight_ movies, no matter how much he made fun of it. But a strange pale-ass man had approached him, wordlessly compelled him into an alleyway, and bit his neck. The next thing Dave remembered was waking up in a cramped cabin with heightened senses and an unshakable craving for human blood. The second the pale man had left the room, Dave immediately jumped out of the nearest window and made it his mission to get as far away from that cabin as possible.

Beyond that, Dave had no plan. He couldn’t go back home, even if he knew where home was. He was stranded in an unfamiliar forest, hungry, and completely out of his depth. How was he going to eat? What happened when the sun came up? Would he never be able to enjoy garlic on his pizza ever again?

Stuck in his head, Dave didn’t notice the drop directly ahead of him until he was tumbling head over feet down it.

“FU-aaaaaaaah!”

He crashed into the shallow stream below face first. It was unbearably cold. Dave cursed, spitting and scrambling to get onto dry ground. He collapsed onto his side, clinging to a log, and shivering. Once the shock wore off, Dave sat up and began poking at his body. Though dizzy, cold, and damp, Dave was glad to realize he was otherwise unhurt. 

_Cool. Vampires are super durable, too,_ Dave thought to himself. His stomach growled. “Shut it,” he growled back.

“Do… you need help?”

Dave tensed. An unsuspecting Good Samaritan comes across a hungry vampire in the woods. What could possibly go wrong? He hesitantly peeked up from behind his bangs.

Across the stream stood two… wolves?

Dave blinked. The animals blinked back at him. He had definitely heard a voice saying words, or had he imagined them? And why weren’t these wolves running away from him?

One of the wolves had exceptionally soft-looking fur, white as snow, as though it was some sort of show dog and not a wild animal that lived in the woods. The other was much scruffier, with a slate gray coat and two black markings over his eyes like angry cartoon eyebrows. And their eyes… the former’s eyes were emerald green, and the latter’s were crimson red. Did wolf eyes usually come in those colors?

The white wolf flicked its tail and regarded Dave cautiously. A gentle, feminine voice said, “I said… do you need help?” Though its mouth didn’t open, it sounded as though the voice was indeed coming from the wolf.

The gray wolf snorted and glanced at its companion. “Maybe he’s mute?” The voice coming from the second wolf was considerably more gruff and masculine.

Dave didn’t know what to say. Did he hit his head when he fell down the slope, perhaps? Was he dreaming? Did vampires even dream? Was he even a vampire, or was that a dream, too? It was too much for him to process. He might as well be mute.

“Maybe…” That was the sweet, girlish voice again. “Maybe he’s just in shock.”

“Or maybe he’s just stupid.” The gray wolf gave another forceful snort. 

Dave didn’t like the idea of being sassed by wolves. “I’m not stupid or mute,” Dave finally spoke up, startling both of them, “I might be in shock, though. Or hallucinating. Are vampires supposed to be able to understand wolves? I’m sorry; I never got any ‘living as a vampire for dummies’ handbook or anything.”

The wolves were silent for a minute. Then they exchanged a look.

“Uh,” the white one said, “How long have you been a vampire, exactly?”

“Good question,” Dave said. He glanced at his watch. At least, he glanced at where his watch _used_ to be. Damn it. The pale man must have taken it. “I don’t know. Is it still Tuesday? I got attacked by a freaky pale guy on Tuesday night, when I was walking home from work.”

Another look was exchanged. Dave wondered what they were thinking. Wolf facial expressions weren’t very easy to decipher.

“You’ve only been a vampire for a few hours, then,” the gray wolf said. “Congratu-fucking-lations. But where did your deadbeat assgrab of a sire run off to? And why the fuck isn’t he babysitting you?”

Wolves could swear, then. Dave stored that little nugget in his head to react to later. Right now, he was too confused to be snarky. “My… sire?”

“The guy who turned you into a vampire,” the white wolf explained helpfully.

“That would probably be the guy who dragged me into the alleyway and drank from me like I was juice box,” Dave guessed. “Yeah, I woke up in his creepy ass abandoned cabin in the middle of nowhere. He offered to nab a nearby camper for me to feed on whenever I got hungry. Said the young humans taste the most delicious. I bounced the second I was left alone.”

“Jesus effing Christ,” said the gray wolf.

“Is that where he went?” The white wolf surged forward, nearly shoving its muzzle right into Dave’s face. “Is he going to attack the local campground?”

Shit. Dave had been trying to avoid thinking about that. “Probably,” he admitted.

The white wolf puffed up and turned on its companion. “Karkat, go tell alpha! She needs to know the campground humans are in danger! I’ll stay here with the newborn.”

The gray wolf – Karkat? – swore again, and then rushed off.

Dave blinked, wondering what the wolves were going to do about it. 

Once Karkat was out of sight, the white wolf turned back to Dave. “I’m Jade, by the way,” it – no, she – said, “I’m sorry. You’re probably super confused and a little bit scared, but it’ll be okay! But I do need you to come with me. We need to get you someplace safe.”

“Oh, uh, okay.” Dave didn’t have enough brain power to think too hard. ‘Someplace safe’ sounded nice. And besides, this wolf had a super kind, comforting voice. It made trusting her easy. He pulled himself to his feet and followed her downstream. “Not that I’m not appreciative as hell,” Dave added after a moment, “but, why are you helping me?”

Jade’s tail wagged and she squinted her eyes a bit when she looked back over her shoulder at him. It looked a bit like a smile. “Because you need help,” she answered matter-of-factly. “We’re the guardians of this forest. We help those that need it.”

Glad for the idle chitchat, Dave prompted, “We? You and Karkat?”

“And the rest of the pack.” Jade pranced when she walked. It was adorable. “And to answer your earlier question, no, vampires aren’t able to talk with wolves. Not ordinary wolves, anyway. Karkat and I are werewolves. We communicate telepathically when we’re in wolf form. So you can hear us, and ordinary humans could hear us, too, if we chose to talk to them.”

Dave paused for a moment, and then kept walking. Werewolves, huh? 

_Well, I am a vampire,_ Dave reminded himself, _That shouldn’t really be a surprise._ Out loud, he said, “That makes more sense, I guess.” He glanced up at the moon peeking through the trees. It wasn’t full, though…

“So, about the whole full moon thing,” he prompted.

Jade giggled. Her prancing became even more pronounced. “Oh, it’s certainly _easier_ to shapeshift when it’s dark out,” she answered, “but we can shapeshift anytime, really, as long as we have enough energy to do so. And no, we don’t turn into mindless murder monsters when the moon is full. We just draw our energy from the moon, so we’re strongest when it’s full. I mean, some werewolves turn into mindless murder monsters, but only if we lose control of our tempers. I mean, we have to get _suuuper_ mad for that to happen. Like, someone we loved was just slain in front of us angry. But werewolves always travel in packs or pairs, so we can calm each other down if we need to.”

Dave listened dutifully. They were winding up a makeshift staircase of rocks and logs. It was surprisingly sturdy, and easy to climb despite the steepness. By the time Jade was done her little lesson on werewolves, they were nearly at the top. A tower, cleverly hidden by vines and trees, was slowly becoming visible.

They reached the top. The tower appeared to be left over from the ruins of a fort. It was tilted, slightly, leaning up against the rocky mountainside. 

Jade led Dave to the only entrance, a gated door with a heavy padlock facing away from them. From beyond the gate sat another wolf in the shadows, its golden eyes flashing in the moonlight. Dave shied away from the wolf at first, but Jade seemed at ease, so he relaxed, too.

“Pathhword,” the wolf said. It had a raspy voice with a lisp. The colors of its coat, though, were strikingly beautiful. Half of it was silvery-blue, the other an auburn brown. The two colors were split cleanly down the middle vertically. His eyes shifted between Jade and Dave, clearly distrustful of the strange vampire in the mix.

“Sollux, it’s me,” Jade whined, “Besides, Karkat is the one who usually memorizes your stupidly long passwords for the both of us.”

The wolf named Sollux shot a cautious glance at Dave again. “Yeah, and where ithh Karkat?”

Jade let out a loud breath. “He went to go get alpha,” she explained, impatiently shifting from paw to paw. “There’s a vampire planning on attacking the human campground. The same vampire who turned _this_ guy without his permission earlier tonight. We need to get him someplace safe before his sire tracks his scent here.”

“Wait, he can do that?” Dave glanced back at the forest behind them.

The wolves ignored his question. “Jethhuthh Chrithht,” Sollux cursed. He furrowed his brow, and suddenly the padlock clicked open and fell to the ground.

“Sollux has telekinesis,” Jade explained when Dave’s jaw went slack. She latched onto his sleeve with her front teeth and pulled him out of the way just as the gated door swung open at him. Then she nudged her muzzle at his back.

Needing no extra prompting, Dave rushed into the tower. And then he stopped. The stairs leading upwards were rusted and falling apart.

“Not that way,” Jade said. She winded her way around the bottom of the staircase and into a wolf-sized hole built into the wall. It appeared to lead into the mountain. Within seconds, she was engulfed by the complete darkness.

Dave stared after her.

“You better hurry up,” Sollux spoke up from behind him, “Jade’thh kind of abthhentminded. If you fall too far behind, thhhe might not even notice until it’thh too late.”

“Fuck, okay.” Dave got to his knees and begun crawling.

It was a tight fit, incredibly dusty, and so dark even his fancy nocturnal vampire eyes couldn’t see shit, but Dave didn’t allow himself to turn back. He could hear the vibrations of Jade’s movements echo down the tunnel, and he worked tirelessly to keep up. He was starting to worry that the mountain would collapse and swallow him whole when he finally caught sight of the very literal light at the end of the tunnel. Then he could hear voices and laughter. Resolve restored, Dave began to shimmer faster across the rocky terrain.

All at once he tumbled out the other end onto… a carpet?

Dave blinked. He didn’t know what he had been expecting. A dimly lit cave, probably. Maybe a pile of small animal skeletons, and a small crack in the ceiling for light. But instead he was sprawled out on his stomach on the floor of a pretty little room. It was rather old-fashioned, with wooden furniture and fire-lit lanterns, but it was cozy and warm, too. 

It wasn’t empty, either. A few people were standing around, glancing over at Dave. They looked human at first, but… no, those were definitely furry wolf ears and tails they had, and they were definitely moving. 

Dave cleared his throat awkwardly. “Sorry… for dropping in. Did anyone see a white wolf go through here?”

“I’m right here!”

Dave glanced to his left, where the voice was coming from. And then he screamed.

“Oh my god, what?” Jade, who had formerly been a white wolf, was kneeling before Dave, no longer a wolf, and very, _very_ naked.

To be clear, Dave hadn’t screamed because Jade was unattractive. No, she was very attractive. She was probably the same age as Dave, with a soft oval face, a cute button nose, and the most beautiful, flowing locks, falling like a waterfall over her neck and shoulders. Her fluffy white ears contrasted starkly with her dark hair. According to her skin tone and eyes, Dave would have guessed she was South-East Asian, maybe Filipino, or maybe a mix of things. In short, Jade was ridiculously attractive… even with her slight overbite and rabbit teeth.

No, Dave had screamed because when he turned his head, he first found himself face to face with Jade’s large shapely breasts and perky brown nipples.

“Why are you naked?” Dave demanded, covering his eyes and doing his best not to peek at her.

“Wolves don’t wear clothes, duh.” Jade gave a little giggle. “I guess I forgot you humans get so frazzled over nudity. If it helps, I plan to put clothes on. But we have to get to my apartment first. Do you think you can survive the five minute walk there?”

Without staring at her butt the whole time? Definitely not, Dave decided. But if werewolves really were all nudists, he didn’t want to seem like some uncultured pervert. So, hesitantly, Dave lowered his hands from his face. Now that the initial shock was over with, it was a bit easier to look at her, as long as he was laser-focused on her face and didn’t allow his gaze to wander. “Yeah, I can do that,” he said, semi-confidently. 

“Okay, good.” Jade smiled at him, clearly amused, and then stood up.

Dave had to whip his head to the side to avoid catching a glimpse of her lady parts. The scent of her caressed his nose as she walked by. She smelled… so, so sweet. It wasn’t comparable to anything Dave had ever smelled before, but it left him salivating heavily. 

Fuck… he was still so hungry.

Dave clenched his teeth together and followed after Jade. Her hair was so long… the ends nearly brushed her butt. Which was incredibly plump, by the way. Dave couldn’t stop himself from looking at it. Not when it was right there.

They left the room, passed through a short hall, and made their way out onto a street. 

Dave stopped and gaped. He glanced up. It took him a moment to realize he wasn’t looking at the sky, but the inner dome of the mountain. The road was lined with streetlamps, so it seemed like they were out in the open, but they weren’t. The buildings were built from stone, build right out of the ground… or rather, carved out from the mountain surrounding them. 

They passed a few other people with wolf ears and tails, but none of them gave Jade’s nudity a second glance. They did, however, eye Dave nervously. Dave did his best to look friendly, smiling at waving at them.

Jade led him down a narrow side alley. There were multiple stone steps leading down to wooden doors, each one identical except for hand-carved signs that hung from metal hooks. Each sign had two or more names written on them in a sequence. Some had a second block of wood attached to the first by a string, presumably for when they ran out of space for names. They stopped in front of one of these doors. The sign had two names engraved on it. It read:

Jade  
Karkat

“Here we are,” Jade announced. She opened the door without unlocking it. When Dave got a closer look, he noticed the door didn’t even have a lock.

The first room of the apartment was a kitchen and dining area. It wasn’t messy, but it looked lived in. There were some plain looking china sitting by the sink and a patchwork of succulents scattered around the shelves and counters. It was a cute place. Dave could imagine Jade and Karkat having breakfast there, chatting over warm bowls of oatmeal… or whatever it was that werewolves ate. Rabbit stew, maybe?

“How many werewolves live here?” Dave asked, trying to distract himself while Jade yawned and stretched, arching her back and sticking her chest out as she did so.

“Our pack has thirty-two members right now,” Jade answered. She went to the cupboard and took out two teacups. “Do you want something to drink? I think I have some dehydrated blood tablets somewhere. It won’t taste as good as fresh blood, but it’ll keep your thirst at bay.”

 _Aren’t you going to get dressed first?_ Dave didn’t ask that, but he wanted to. Instead, he nodded gratefully. “I suppose I’ll have to try drinking blood eventually.”

“That’s the spirit!” Jade grabbed a kettle from the upper shelf, filled it with water she pumped from the sink, and brought it over to the fireplace, hooking it onto the rod that hung over it. Then she knelt down to begin stacking the firewood.

“Wait, let me do that,” Dave offered, and after a pause added, “while you go get changed.”

Jade glanced down at herself. And then she laughed. “Oh, right! I forgot, I promised you I’d put some clothes on.” Jade lifted the wood into Dave’s arm, her hair tickling his skin for a moment before she pulled away. “There’s a lighter in the drawer over there,” she instructed, pointing at it, “and some newspaper clippings, too. Do you know how to start a fire?”

“Yeah, I’ve been camping before,” Dave assured her.

“Good!” Jade gave Dave a pat on the head, and skipped off to the bedroom to finally get dressed.

By the time she returned, in a blue sundress and a matching ribbon holding her hair back in a loose ponytail, Dave had managed to build a decently warm fire. He relaxed at seeing her clothed. Now that he didn’t feel guilty looking at her, he could really appreciate how beautiful she was. “Welcome back,” he said.

“Thank you!” Jade bounded over to the fire and inspected it. “Looks good!”

Dave sat down at one of the wooden chairs while Jade putzed around the kitchen, preparing the table for their drinks. She placed a tea bag in her cup and a thick red tablet in Dave’s. By the time she was done, the kettle was whistling.

The high-pitched screeching had never been a pleasant sound, but with his newfound heightened hearing, Dave couldn’t help but grimace while its piercing noise grated against his eardrums. 

Jade apologized softly and poured them each some boiling water. “Things won’t always be so overwhelming,” she explained to him, “You’re not used to being able to perceive such a wide array of sights, sounds, and smells, so it hurts for your brain to try to process it all. But you’ll get used to it with time. Demons are remarkably good at adapting to things.”

“Is that what we are?” Dave asked. He watched the tablet in his cup dissolve, dying the water red. The smell was nearly unbearable… like a mix of metal and burnt rubber.

“Vampires and werewolves are both demons, yes.” Jade watched Dave eye his cup of rehydrated blood with obvious disgust. “I know it’s hard to transfer over to a new diet. Karkat was a human once, too.” She smiled when Dave startled with surprise. “We met in high school. I was in love and stupid, and so I bit him. I’m just glad he doesn’t regret it. He still misses eating chocolate, though. Werewolves are carnivores. We _can_ eat some fruits and veggies, though it’s not good for us. But chocolate is toxic.”

“Like dogs?” Dave meant it as a joke but immediately realized – after he spoke – that it might sound insensitive.

But Jade giggled. “Yeah, pretty much. As well as grapes, raisins, peaches, avocadoes… a bunch of stuff Karkat used to love.” After another giggle, her face turned more serious. “You’ll miss human food, but I promise, you’ll come to love the taste of blood. Maybe not _this_ blood. Like I said, it’s been dehydrated and stored in our dusty cupboard for ages. But fresh blood will taste good to you, even if the idea of drinking it still grosses you out.”

Dave thought that over. “Does it have to be human?”

Jade shook her head. “No, though it’s the best tasting, according to other vampires. Probably because human diets tend to be high in sugar and fat. But you can also survive off of, say, moose blood. Big animals are the best bet, if you don’t want to kill your prey.”

_Should I be taking notes? _Dave wondered. After pondering that for a moment, he glanced back down at his cup of dusty cupboard blood. It didn’t smell any better than before. It definitely didn’t smell edible. He lifted the rim to his lips and blew at the surface gently. The resulting foul-smelling steam that engulfed his face nearly caused him to gag. But, though all of his instincts were screaming at him not to, Dave took a tentative sip.__

__“Bluh!”_ _

__Dave struggled not to drop the cup as he set it back on the table. The taste was indescribable. It tasted the way it smelled, but worse._ _

__“That bad?” Jade asked, concerned._ _

__“Let’s just say… it was like I just stuck my tongue in Satin’s ass crack,” Dave shivered, trying to not focus so hard on the bitter aftertaste coating his mouth. It was hard. He could hardly open his eyes; they were scrunched shut so tight in disgust._ _

__Jade sighed sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Dave. Maybe your taste buds haven’t fully changed, yet. When Karkat gets back, I’ll go out and catch you something fresh.”_ _

__Dave nodded, pushing the cup of blood away from him._ _

__

__Once Jade was finished her tea, the two retired to the living room/library, where they exchanged idle chitchat about their pasts. Dave learned Jade had been born a werewolf, had inherited the genes from her grandfather, which had skipped over her parents. Jade had managed to have a relatively normal childhood, always hiding her ears under a hat and her tail under a skirt. But after graduating high school, with a newly turned werewolf boyfriend, Jade decided to join her grandfather’s pack._ _

__Dave told Jade about his online comic series, about applying and being accepted into a photography program at a prestigious university, but falling behind and finally quitting so he could become a DJ. He mentioned his twin sister, Rose, and how she was obsessed with vampire romance novels, and how she would probably give up all her hard-earned scholarships in order to switch places with him._ _

__Jade was in the middle of telling Dave the story of how Karkat proposed to her when the front door squeaked. A loud crash in the kitchen and a distinctive gruff voice spouting long-winded obscenities immediately followed._ _

__“Karkat?” Jade leaped to her feet, and Dave followed on her heels as they rushed into the other room._ _

__Dave only flinched a little this time when he realized that Karkat was naked._ _

__More importantly, the werewolf was bleeding. Karkat clutched his wrist to his chest, streaks of red painting his face and shoulders. Another naked werewolf, much older than the other, was trying to help Karkat regain his balance._ _

__Jade stepped forward, allowing Karkat to fall into her arms. “Thank you, alpha,” Jade said hurriedly, as she pulled Karkat down to sit on a chair._ _

__“It’s not a deep wound,” the alpha wolf said with a quick nod, “He should recover quickly. He fought well. The vampire who attempted to terrorize the campers is no more.” He tipped his head at them again. “Now, I need to go make sure everyone else is okay. I’ll be in touch.”_ _

__As quick as he appeared, the alpha turned and disappeared out the door._ _

__Not that Dave noticed. He was busy staring at all the blood on Karkat._ _

__The bright red seemed to make all the other colors in the room dull in comparison. And the smell. Dave sniffed the air. Warm and sweet… that’s what Karkat’s blood smelled like. Dave was stepping forward before he even realized it._ _

__“Dave—?”_ _

__That was all Karkat could say before Dave had snatched his arm and latched onto it like a leech. He pulled the wound to his mouth and dug his fangs into where the skin was split apart. The rush of rich flavor was enough to make Dave want to weep. The first touch of it to his tongue was like heaven. He began to suck, desperate for more. It was so warm, the texture thick and smooth. There wasn’t even a hint of rubber or metal, just sweetness and a hint of tartness._ _

__Dave was so focused on feeding that he didn’t hear Jade and Karkat yelling at him to stop. So Karkat smacked Dave right across the forehead, hard._ _

__Dave reeled back, hissing. It was an instinctual reaction, though that made it no less embarrassing once he regained his senses. He blinked a few times, swallowing the last of the sweet syrup left in his mouth. “S-sorry,” he said, unable to look either of them in the eye._ _

__Everyone stayed silent for a moment. Dave was considering throwing himself out the window, again, for the second time that night, when Karkat spoke up._ _

__“It’s okay,” he said, “I should have anticipated that you’d be hungry. But you can’t drink my blood. Demon blood isn’t good for vampires.”_ _

__“I’m surprised you didn’t immediately spit it out,” Jade put in, “Demons usually don’t taste good to one another. Then again, you could have been just that hungry.”_ _

__“Wait, really?” Dave licked his lips. Yep, it still tasted sweet. “It didn’t taste bad to me at all. I much preferred it to that dehydrated blood tablet.” He paused, and then remembered what Karkat said before. “What do you mean it isn’t good for vampires? I’m not going to die, am I?”_ _

__Jade shook her head. She seemed to have completely recovered from the shock. She took out a first aid kit and began cleaning up Karkat’s wound. “You won’t die, but you’ll probably get a belly ache. Demon blood tends to be high in toxins, for some reason. Animals seem to be able to sense it, though, which is why they avoid us. The toxins aren’t deadly except in extremely large doses, but it definitely isn’t fun for your body to try to digest. You couldn’t taste the toxins at all? They usually have a distinctive sour flavor, like… vinegar, I guess.”_ _

__“No, it just tasted sweet. A touch of tartness, but nothing bad.” Dave glanced over the blood smears on Karkat’s shoulders and face. Slowly, his gaze wandered downward of its own accord. Karkat not only had good tasting blood, he was cute to boot._ _

__The guy had the same scruffy hair as his wolf counterpart, though it was a dark reddish brown. Light brown freckles littered his smooth, pale peach skin, especially his cherubic cheeks with their twin dimples. Like Jade, Karkat had a good amount of meat on his bones, a half and half mixture of muscle and fat. They looked like they would make good fighters, but even better cuddlers. Fleetingly, Dave wondered what it would be like to be sandwiched between them._ _

__(And yes, Dave glanced even further down, too. Karkat had a cute cock. Thick, nice rounded head, proportional to the rest of his body…)_ _

__“That’s… definitely weird.” Jade finished patching Karkat up and stood. “You should be able to taste the toxins. But I’m not an expert on vampires. I’m going to go consult my books.” And with that, she left to search the library._ _

__“Jade wanted to be a scientist,” Karkat explained before Dave could comment, “Well, she is a scientist, sort of. She mostly gathers data of various demon species and tries to compile all the knowledge into a demon anatomy textbook she’s been working on for the last couple of years. That’s why she’s so inquisitive all the time. And also why she goes overboard when it comes to explaining things. She doesn’t get many opportunities to experiment with real-life test subjects, since demons tend not to trust one another. So... yeah.”_ _

__“Ahhh, okay.” Dave couldn’t help but smile a little at that. They were a cute couple, the two of them. “I don’t mind being her test subject,” he added before he could help himself._ _

__Karkat raised an eyebrow. They really were big and bushy, just like the markings on his wolf coat. “Jade told you that we’re engaged, right?” When Dave nodded, Karkat continued, “I don’t go around sharing my fiancé with just anyone.”_ _

__The wording of that threw Dave off for a second. Before he could ask Karkat to clarify, though, Jade had returned with a large tome._ _

__“I was right,” she announced to the room, “Even as a newborn vampire, you should be able to taste the toxins in a demon’s blood. There are hardly any recorded exceptions.” She flipped the page and adjusted her glasses. It was adorable. “Let’s see. One of the most commonly seen exceptions is… Oh. I see. That’s interesting.”_ _

__Karkat rolled his eyes lovingly, clearly used to this. “What’s so interesting?”_ _

__Jade snapped the book shut. “We should discuss it tomorrow. I don’t know if Dave wants to deal with this right now, after the long, crazy night he’s had. Plus, you need to get dressed, Karkat. Don’t you know it’s rude to be naked in front of a human?”_ _

__“Yeah, no shit, I used to be one.” Still, Karkat didn’t seem to be all that embarrassed. He eyed Dave and smirked a bit. “Besides, I think Dave is enjoying the view.”_ _

__Dave startled, feeling his face warm. “I’m just looking at all the blood,” he said quickly, “You should get washed up. I’m still hungry.” He glanced away and racked his brain for the quickest escape from the topic of conversation. What were they talking about before? “Oh right,” he said, “Jade, we might as well discuss the demon blood toxin thing tonight. It can’t possibly be any worse than everything I’ve dealt with so far.”_ _

__Jade hummed. She sounded unconvinced. “Well,” she said, “we should do some experiments. Have you taste the blood of a few other demons, and see if your tolerance of demon blood is exclusive to Dave or not.”_ _

__“Okay,” Dave said, “but what’s your hypothesis? You must have one, right, Ms. Scientist?”_ _

__Jade giggled her delightful little giggle. Dave was really starting to love the sound of it. “Are you sure you’re ready to hear it?”_ _

__“That’s why I’m asking.”_ _

__Jade hummed again, this time sounding a bit more convinced, and a lot cheekier. She paused, and then nodded. “Okay, fine. My hypothesis is this: Vampires are known for their heightened senses. Sight, smell, sound, touch, and taste, of course, but there is always the elusive and hard-to-define sixth sense. There are numerous texts that assert that vampires have an amazing sixth sense when it comes to people. They know which people to avoid, and which will make the easiest prey. But perhaps most interesting is the fact that they are able to tell, with just a glance, which people they will get along with, and which people they will not get along with.”_ _

__“That’s a neat ability,” Dave said, “But I don’t know what that has to do with demon toxins.”_ _

__“Wait for it,” Karkat said._ _

__Jade adjusted her glasses again. This time, it seemed very deliberate. Dave imagined he could fall in love with her easily._ _

__“It’s also been established that senses can affect one another,” Jade continued on, “That’s why food tastes different when we have a stuffy nose. And if someone sees a hammer hitting a hand that they _think_ is theirs, they will feel the sensation of the hammer hitting them, even if it’s a dummy hand. In other words, our expectations based on what we gather from one of our senses can trick our other senses. So it’s utterly possible that Karkat’s blood tasted so good to you, Dave, because you were expecting it to taste good based on your other senses. Let’s say your sixth sense is able to detect that you and Karkat would have great chemistry together. He _looks_ good to you, _ smells_ good to you, maybe you even like the sound of his voice… so it follows that your brain determined that Karkat must _taste_ good, also.”

Whatever Dave had been expecting, it hadn’t been that. He tried to wrap his mind around it. “I guess that’s possible. But what about that would be so hard for me to deal with?”

Jade glanced at Karkat. Karkat held her gaze. They were sharing another look. Though they weren’t wolves, Dave didn’t have any more luck picking up on what their look was about this time. Too bad his superior vampire sixth sense couldn’t read minds.

“Well,” Jade said, “The sort of chemistry I’m talking about here… it would have to be strong in order to overpower your other senses. In the book, it says that the most common exception to vampires being opposed to demon blood is when the vampire and demon in question are lovers, or later become lovers. The term the book uses is ‘soulmates’, or ‘fated lovers’.”

 _This is just like one of Rose’s romance novels,_ Dave thought. “So… you’re saying Karkat tastes good to me is because he’s my soulmate, and my freaky vampire sixth sense picked up on that?”

Another look. Maybe they were communicating telepathically? Dave hadn’t considered that before, but it was possible, right?

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, yes,” Jade said, “Vampires… tend to be very obsessed with the idea of soulmates. They claim they can determine who their soulmate is just by their smell and taste. And while that might sound kooky coming from a wannabe scientist like me, there have been some studies done. Vampires do seem to be able to sense when a romantic relationship with a particular person will last a lifetime, based on scent.”

Karkat turned to Dave. “Well, what the fuck do you think about that?”

“Well,” Jade interrupted, “We’ll have to do experiments, like I said. We have to see if Dave is the only exception or not. We could use my blood, but that’s not very helpful. I’m convinced Karkat and I are soulmates, so if the two of you are fated for a romantic relationship, I’d imagine that we’d have a similar bond, Dave. So… in the morning, tomorrow, we’ll do some tests, talk it over, see where we go from there…”

She’s nervous, Dave realized. She didn’t want to push this onto Dave and drive him away. Dave looked at Jade. Really looked at her. She was a silly girl, but smart and compassionate, too. Then Dave looked at Karkat. He was mouthy, sure, but hilarious. And of course both of them were attractive.

Dave realized he already knew the answer. It seemed obvious in retrospect, but he needed to hear Jade say it. She was right. They were, for lack a better term, his soulmates. He would have a long, fruitful relationship with them, if he chose them, and they chose him.

Dave stood up and rubbed his hands. “Okay, that sounds good,” he said, “Experiments and tests tomorrow. And then maybe I can find a phone to let Rose know where I went.”

The two werewolves looked surprised, but didn’t speak yet.

“I can’t quite go back to my old life yet,” Dave continued, “Too much has happened, and I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m going to need a lot of guidance. So, if it’s not too much trouble, can I crash here for a while?”

Jade opened her mouth but Karkat jumped to his feet and beat her to it. “Sure! I mean, uh, one test isn’t always enough. We might have to do more.”

“And you’ll need someone to teach you how to hunt now that your sire is kaput,” Jade added.

Warmth spread through Dave’s chest. _Yes,_ he thought, _I wasn’t mistaken. They want me to stay as much as I do._ “Of course,” Dave agreed, “You keep saying it: I’m a newborn. I’m basically hopeless all on my own. And I’ll need to repay you for saving my life, so I might as well offer myself as a real-life vampire test subject to show my gratitude.” 

“Might as fucking well,” Karkat echoed.

“Agreed,” Jade said.

Then they all stood there for a solid minute. They were all ecstatic, but anxious, and unsure where to go from there. Of course they all wanted the same thing, but they couldn’t be sure that the other two wanted it as soon as they did. How fast is too fast when you already know you’re destined to be together?

Rose might have known exactly what to do, but Dave was just acting on impulse, as always. And that was fine. Life was turning out pretty great for him, after all.

So Dave took the leap. “So… I’m still kind of shaken up over everything that happened,” he said, finding that the truth was always the best kind of lie, “Not to sound like the newborn that I am, but… do you guys mind keeping me company tonight?”

They were stunned all over again. Karkat sucked in a wavering breath.

“We do have a large master bed,” Jade said.

“But you should be aware,” Karkat added, “Jade is a monster clinger. She’s like a goddamn tick. One she’s attached, she isn’t fucking letting go.”

 _That sounds fucking amazing._ Dave tried not to let the happiness show on his face. “I’d probably toss and turn otherwise, honestly. Unless I weigh myself down with a few layers of blankets, I usually end up rolling off bed. I’ll probably appreciate being clung unto. But you guys should be aware of something, too,” he countered, “My feet get so cold at night. It’s like goddamn Antarctica between my toes. I can and I _will_ try to shove them against whoever’s legs are the warmest.”

“Karkat is like a heater,” Jade said, “He has to sleep with a cup of ice water by the bed in the summer to keep him from overheating. He’ll probably appreciate your cold toes.”

“I can and I _will_ appreciate the fuck out of your cold toes,” Karkat said.

Yes, this was certainly destiny. Dave could feel it in his forehead. Or wherever the third eye was supposed to be. Or maybe he could just feel it in his heart. Whatever. The point was, Dave knew the three of them were fated for grand things. Grand things, and also hot, sweaty things. Maybe not tonight, because Dave really _was_ tired, but someday. Someday soon.

Maybe Dave was a physic vampire, too, because he could already imagine his name on the front door sign:

Jade  
Karkat  
Dave

“Well, let’s fucking do this,” Dave said.

“Let me put on my pajamas first.” Karkat rushed off first, his cute butt jiggling out the door. Dave and Jade both stopped and admired the sight.

Jade looked at Dave and held out her hand. Dave took it firmly, and entangled their fingers.

“C’mon,” Jade said, tugging Dave forward, “Let’s get to bed.”

Dave slept sandwiched between the two werewolves. It was just as they had warned. Jade clung to his back just like an urchin on the underside of a boat, and Karkat kept Dave’s toes pressed between his ankles all night long.

And it was glorious.


End file.
